Key to Confidence: We Create Our Experience

It's hard to feel confident when we feel like life just happens to us.

But the truth is, our experience of life is mostly created in our MINDS, not from our external circumstances.

Circumstances don't cause our thoughts; they don't dictate our feelings; they don't determine our actions; and they certainty don't create our results.

This is obvious when we see two people with the EXACT same external circumstances respond in completely different ways.

Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychologist said it best: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

Remembering that we get to choose our response to ANY situation can help us be more confident. We are NEVER at the mercy of our circumstances.

Story time: When my oldest daughter was severely struggling with her mental health, it was severely affecting my mental health. For a couple of weeks, I wasn't able to eat or sleep.

I had several panic attacks and felt at the mercy of her ups and downs. When she was doing okay, I allowed myself to be okay. When she was acutely suffering, I was stressed and anxious.

When I realized that my suffering wasn't preventing her suffering (in fact, sometimes it was making it WORSE), I started to look at the stories I was telling myself about her life.

My confidence as a mother was at an all-time low because I was completely attached to her outcomes instead of things that were actually in my control.

I realized I couldn't choose her response to life, but I could choose my own!

Through taking a look at my behaviors, and the thoughts and emotions driving them, I transformed my experience, and frankly became a much more effective mother.

I don't know what you are currently struggling with in your life. But I promise you that you don't have to wait for a better job, more money, or easier relationships to feel happier and more confident.

Your life can improve TODAY, just by choosing more useful thoughts.

If our circumstances determined our outcomes we'd all be stuck because everyone, no matter how perfect their life may seem, faces serious challenges.

True confidence comes from knowing we have control over our perspective and response--regardless of the misfortunes and obstacles life brings.