Keep Your Eye on the Ball

Some people see the thing they want. Others see only what prevents them from getting what they want. While others focus solely on avoiding the worst-case scenario.

Can you see the difference?

Those who focus on their desires are driven by them. Others fixate on obstacles or catastrophize potential outcomes.

I played just one year of softball, and I remember learning the importance of keeping my eye on the ball. This is crucial whether I'm batting or catching. Even when throwing, I need to focus on my intended teammate. If I get distracted by the opposing players, I become less effective.

Here's a real-life example: Let's say you want to feel connected at work. You're new and don't know many people yet.

Do you walk into the office and see people to connect with? Or do you walk in and see only strangers? Or do you walk in with the assumption that everyone hates you? It's a matter of perspective and focus.

Taking this analogy deeper, I have clients genuinely concerned for their teen's safety, particularly worried about the risk of suicide. This is likely the greatest fear of any parent with a teenage or young adult child.

My clients have valid reasons for their fears. Having experienced the same fear with one of my children, however, I believe our best parenting comes from focusing on our values and goals—the things we can control—rather than being consumed by worry, trying to avoid our greatest fears. This is "keeping our eye on the ball."

In everyday parenting, this looks like evaluating the emotions fueling our behavior.

Are we parenting from fear and worry, or are we fueled by love and confidence?

Are we focused on our goals and values, or are we merely trying to avoid the worst-case scenario?

Are we actively working to impact the things within our control, or are we getting caught up in the mess and worry of things we can't?

Worry pretends to be useful, but it's not. It distracts us from creating what we want and doesn't prevent difficulties from happening.

Instead of playing horror movies in your mind of all the potential disasters, keep your eye on the ball by focusing on what you truly want.

Your mind is powerful. When you focus on your desires, it will work to help create them.