How to Process Emotions
After last week's email on the power of breathwork, I got questions from a few of you about HOW to process an emotion.
Emotions are sensations in our body that are the result of thoughts. They last no more than 90 seconds. Yet, when we continue to think the same thoughts over and over, emotions can seemingly last for hours or even days.
There are several ways that humans naturally react to emotions. We can:
Act out an emotion (i.e. punching someone when we feel angry)
Distract ourselves from an emotion (i.e. mindlessly eating sugar or watching hours of Netflix)
Fester in an emotion (i.e. get anxious or frustrated by our anxiety and spin in thoughts, thereby escalating the emotion)
Process an emotion (use our body to lean into and work through the emotion)
As you can probably imagine, some of these reactions to emotions yield better results than others.
Learning to process emotions is a SKILL that can be learned through PRACTICE.
Trying to do mindset work when we our emotions are running wind is not very effective. That's because when we're feeling an emotion deeply, we have very little access to the logical part of our brain.
For this reason, processing emotions happens most effectively in our BODIES, not in our heads. When we try to process an emotion using our mind, we typically feed our brain more thoughts that make the emotion persist.
To process an emotion, start by naming the emotion. "I am feeling ________."
Researchers who study the brain using functional MRI machines can see the emotion center of the brain (the amygdala) relax just by naming the emotion.
This is because emotions are messengers; when we name the emotion, the brain knows we got the message.
It doesn't actually matter if we name the emotion correctly or specifically. "I feel bad," "I feel mad," or "I feel sad" are completely fine.
After naming the emotion, scan your body for tension and discomfort. You might notice a fast heart beat, flushed cheeks, a tight chest, nausea or a lump in your stomach, tight shoulders, a dry throat.
Notice the tension without judgment and BREATHE into it.
Sometimes I like to describe the physical effects of the emotion when I'm trying to process it. Does it have a color? a shape? a consistency? Does it move? Is it fast or slow?
It doesn't matter if we describe it perfectly. The point is to experience and be PRESENT with the sensations, rather than ignoring them.
Continue to breathe deeply into the tension in your body.
I recommend processing emotions with your eyes closed. Anytime your brain wants to think about something else, gently divert it back to the sensations in your body and your deep breathing.
As we breathe oxygen into the places of discomfort and relax into them, the tension will gradually release.
But we can't be in a hurry to get rid of emotional discomfort. Impatience will increase the tension. Know that they will release when they're ready.
Sometimes the emotion doesn't completely go away. So, we might feel like we're carrying around an emotional backpack throughout the day. Emotions like anxiety, depression, worry, fear, and grief often linger.
But when the wave of emotion returns, just breathe through the tension until it relaxes again.
This week, instead of yelling when you're angry, eating chocolate to combat frustration, or watching Neflix to cover up worry, try processing an emotion and notice how you feel.
Where most emotional reactions have negative side effects, processing emotion creates a feeling of peace and empowerment. I'm excited to hear if you notice a difference!
