Key to Confidence: Feeling ALL Emotions

Emotions are powerful! They are the fuel and motivation for ALL our behavior.

Everything we want in life is because of how we think it will make us feel--comfort, connection, love, success, joy, confidence, excitement.

Conversely, everything we avoid in life is because of how we think it will make us feel--stress, discomfort, embarrassment, sadness, confusion, pain.

But what if we weren't afraid to feel ANY emotion? What if the biggest thing holding us back from confidence is our fear of uncomfortable feelings?

Ask yourself:

• What situations do I avoid because I fear embarrassment or inadequacy?

• Am I holding back in relationships to avoid potential sadness or pain?

• Do I stay small because I'm afraid I won't know how to handle stress?

Avoiding discomfort often comes from not trusting ourselves to handle negative emotions. Our confidence grows when we're willing to feel everything!

Story time: Ten years ago, I really wanted to start doing triathlons, but I didn't know how to swim.

When asked about swimming, I would tell people, "Oh no! I'm strictly a land animal."

But unfortunately, land animals can't do triathlons.

Part of my brain thought anything I didn't yet know how to do was off-limits because I was too old to learn new things (I was only 32 and I thought this!), and that confident people were just naturally good at everything.

Fortunately, I ignored that voice and started dragging myself to the pool several times a week.

I found out that learning to swim required me to face lots of uncomfortable emotions: frustration, discomfort, inadequacy, embarrassment (turns out I didn't even know basic lap pool etiquette), commitment, fear, and stress.

But now--I am a decent swimmer! It's still the weakest part of my triathlons, but it doesn't hold me back anymore.

Every time we walk into uncomfortable situations and come out the other side, we become more confident.

Most of the time, the emotions we're afraid of just create subtle sensations in our body--a racing heart, flushed cheeks, a pit in our stomach.

Instead of resisting these feelings, we can breathe, relax the tension, and hold space for the experience.

So ask yourself:

What would you do if you weren't afraid to feel fear, anxiety, embarrassment, or sadness?

Wouldn't it be amazing to trust yourself to feel any emotion necessary so that could confidently navigate life?

True confidence is built by doing hard things and being willing to feel