
Alarms, Buses, and Barking Dogs
Picture this: it's 4:30am and you're awakened by a cacophony of ringing doorbells, a buzzing cell phone, and the anxious ear-splitting barking of your dog. You hear screaming and laughter outside as teenager girls are loudly banging on your front windows. You jolt awake to answer the phone.
Oh no! Your daughter SLEPT IN! And this was NOT the day to do it.
The phone call was her drill team coach informing you that because your daughter wasn't at the school at 4:15am, they had come to pick her up. You peer outside to see an ENTIRE school bus full of noisy teenage girls in front of your house, all anxious to catch their early flight to California for their team Disneyland trip.
Your daughter is stressed out of her mind! She was supposed to shower and wash off her overnight spray tan. No time for that. She was supposed to eat breakfast. You quickly grab her some fruit and a bagel.
Another coach knocks on the door. Your dog starts barking hysterically again. "We really need to go NOW!" she informs you.
At this point the entire house (maybe even the whole neighborhood!) is awake. You zip up your daughter's suitcases and sprint down the stairs while she puts in her contacts and splashes water on her face. Then you shove her out the door to meet her cheering teammates and stressed-out coaches.
You close the door, sigh, and take a deep breath.
You are totally embarrassed and afraid you'll never be able to look her coaches in the face again. You also know your daughter is completely MORTIFIED.
Your mind starts into a shame/blame spiral. "This is all MY fault. Why didn't I set an alarm?!" which is quickly replaced by, "Why the HECK did she sleep in again!?! She was supposed to wake me up when it was time to leave!"
But then you take a few deep breaths and just let it all go. There's no going back, and it's going to be okay.
Right now, you have a choice: you can laugh or cry.
You take another deep breath and choose to laugh. This mutual "most embarrassing moment" with her will forever be etched in your memory.
Throughout the day, your mind keeps flashing back to the HORROR you felt seeing that big yellow school bus full of rowdy girls waking up your whole neighborhood, and you can't help but chuckle again.
You continue to breathe, process the embarrassment, and let it go. Out of nowhere, your heart fills with gratitude.
Gratitude for caring coaches and teammates who gave your shy 15-year old hugs and loving teasing when she finally boarded the bus.
Gratitude for awesome experiences that stretch and push your kids out of their comfort zones.
Gratitude that you get to be along for this crazy journey of motherhood with all its hiccups and surprises.
Raising teenagers is exhausting! It's often late nights and early mornings. It's melt-downs over essays and faulty alarms. It's hormones and emotional rollercoasters.
It's watching them navigate new things--sometimes succeeding, sometimes falling flat on their face. It's processing frustration, disappointment, and grief.
It's sometimes holding them accountable and sometimes just holding them (in a puddle of tears).
In the end, parenting teens is what we make of it.
Personally, I want to be ALL in, both for the excruciating pain and the exhilarating joy.