Key to Confidence: Embracing ALL of You
As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I LOVE coaching people on gaining more confidence.
One of the most important aspects of gaining more confidence is learning to embrace ALL the parts of us: both our strengths and weaknesses; both our successes and failures; both our good days and bad days.
This sounds so simple, but why is it SO hard?
One reason is that your brain is always looking out for danger. It scans the world looking for reasons to believe that:
There's something wrong with you, or
There's something wrong with your life
The primitive part of your brain is afraid that your weaknesses are going to endanger you (i.e. get you kicked out of the tribe). This leads you to try to hide your weaknesses and feel shame about them.
But what if we could embrace our weaknesses AND our strengths?
What would it look like if we didn't see our weaknesses as a problem.
What if we could just look at them with NEUTRAL eyes? "Yeah, I'm human and it's okay that I'm not perfect."
What if failing at something didn't translate to: "I am a failure"?
What if making a few bad choices didn't lead us to believe that we are bad?
Instead, I invite you to try out thoughts like:
I'm a good mother who occasionally makes big mistakes.
I failed that test AND I'm a good student.
I succumbed to peer pressure, and did something I'm not proud of, AND I'm still a good person.
These examples help us embrace all the parts of us, even when we're having a bad day.
Additionally, what if I told you that most of your weaknesses are just your STRENGTHS overused?
Does that change how you see those traits?
Impulsive people are just fast decision makers. People who are extremely competitive are also driven and goal oriented. Getting angry indicates you are a passionate person.
So, instead of thinking of those traits as your weaknesses, find the strength in them.
And know that you could choose to moderate any of them if they are causing problems in your relationship or your results.
NEVER shame yourself for your traits. Embrace ALL the parts of you, warts and all.
The most confident people in the world don't somehow lack weakness; they are just as imperfect as the next person.
The main difference between confident people and those who aren't is that confident people don't allow their weaknesses to define them or stand in their way.
So, embrace ALL of you and go and be confident.
