Key to Confidence: Keeping Promises

You're seven years old and you're walking home from school. It's hot and you're a little bored.

Then you remember that silly rhyme your friend said during recess and you decide to try it. "Don't step on the cracks or you'll break your grandma's back!"

So, what do you do? You tell yourself you WON'T step on a single crack the whole rest of the way home.

To be honest, it's harder than you thought and you really have to concentrate the rest of the half mile home. But then, suddenly, there's your house and you run inside.

How do you feel? Happy, successful, accomplished, and most of all confident. You honestly feel like you grew an inch or two those last few blocks from school.

Why is that?

Because you kept a promise to yourself that no else even knew about.

Contrast that experience to one you might have 15 years later. You're at a café and you've been there for 40 minutes.

Your good friend was supposed to meet you there, but she never showed up. She didn't call or text. And she didn't answer her phone when you tried calling her.

You're a little worried that something terrible might have happened to her, but your brain knows that's unlikely; she probably just forgot.

Your confidence in her plummets. In fact, you're a little mad at yourself that you ever thought she was going to show up in the first place!

Why these two stories?

The truth is, keeping promises to ourselves is a BIG DEAL! It is one of the keys of self-confidence that many people overlook.

In reality, that "friend" who never came to the café is just a metaphor for YOU when you don't follow through on things you promise yourself you'll do.

Rarely would someone actually stand up a friend for a lunch date (unless there was a real emergency), but how often do people tell themselves they're going to do something, then bail at the first sign of resistance?

They decide to stop eating sugar....then eat a whole gallon of ice cream three days later.

They tell themselves they're going to save $50 per week....then get take-out every night and blow the budget.

They commit to getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night....then stay up until 1:00 three nights in a row (literally me last week--oops).

Why is keeping promises to ourselves such a confidence booster? And why does lying to ourselves erode our self-confidence?

Self-confidence grows when we know we are trustworthy; when we are living in full integrity; when we push through the resistance and SHOW UP anyway; when we set a goal to start exercising three times a week, then we actually schedule it on the calendar and show up for ourselves.

What is something you have promised yourself you would do? (Maybe it's a goal you set clear back in January.)

Are you the seven year old running inside ecstatic at your accomplishment or are you the 22-year-old still waiting at the café, frustrated?

I want to tell you a secret: You are worth showing up for.

And your desires are worth listening to.

Consider one promise you could make to yourself this week and FOLLOW THROUGH 100%.

You'll be so happy you kept your promise. But more than that, you will be amazed at how your self-confidence grows as a result.