Managing Expectations

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I love Thanksgiving. It's a great day to spend with family, eat delicious food, and reflect on all that we're grateful for this past year.

The challenging part about Thanksgiving is managing our expectations.

We want the food to be perfect. We want Aunt Patty to not say anything offensive about our teen's hair. We want everyone to show up to dinner on time. We want our kids to stick around and talk to everyone instead of hiding out in their rooms or being on their phones.

The problem with these expectations is that, because all these things are outside our control, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and frustration.

News flash: the humans around us can do what they want!

When we tie our emotions to how others behave, we suffer; and we often blame them for our negative emotions.

When I notice the feelings of frustration, resentment, or judgment, that's a good clue that I need to reassess my expectations.

Something that has helped me stay emotionally empowered in family situations is to decrease my expectations of those around me and increase my expectations of myself.

Instead of expecting others to act in a loving way, I expect myself to act in a loving way, regardless of the situation.

Instead of expecting others to show up on time, I make sure I show up on time or even a little early so I can help out.

Instead of expecting my teens to have a good attitude and engage in conversations with their extended family, I choose to have a good attitude towards my teens.

I love assuming that everyone around me is just doing their best. Sometimes their best looks terrible from my point of view. And I'm sure my best looks pretty pitiful to others at times.

Let's stay emotionally empowered this Thanksgiving by letting go of everything outside our control, especially other people's behavior.

Happy Thanksgiving!