Parenting with Unconditional Love

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Today is all about LOVE, so I wanted to address something that's been on my mind recently. 

I know we all think our teens know we love them. I mean, we drive them places, pay for all kinds of unnecessary things for them, feed them, help them, support and cheer for them, ask about their day, invite their friends over (even though they leave their stuff all over our house). We sacrifice and go through a LOT to raise teenagers. 

But…

Did you know that one of the biggest complaints I hear from teens is that they feel like nothing is ever good enough for their parents. Some teens just decide to GIVE UP trying to please them, because they've tried so hard and it “doesn't work.”

This is SO SAD!! Because I KNOW we all love our kids. But hard as we try, we often fail to SHOW them unconditional love when they need it the most.

We might think we are parenting with unconditional love, but if we are regularly focused on things about our teen(s) that we don't like, we are actually only loving our made-up version of them: the version of them we think they “should” be.

Here are just a few thoughts to try out when thinking about (or talking to) your teen to help foster more unconditional love:

     1. My love for you doesn't go up or down based on your school achievement, how well you play in your game, how much you help around the house, or even how you treat me.

     2. Your job is to be EXACTLY who you are.

     3. You are supposed to make LOTS of mistakes.

     4. It is NOT your job to please me or make me happy. 

     5. I am content to let you learn and progress at your own pace.

Also, remember that the better we love ourselves unconditionally, the easier it will be to do the same for our teens. 

Parenting with unconditional love feels so good and sets us FREE! Free to focus on all the things WITHIN our control--our thoughts, feelings, and behavior—so we can show up as our very best selves everyday.