Reflecting on Mother's Day

I've seen some pretty hilarious posts about Mother's Day the past few weeks.

My favorite was a reel by @modernmessymom, who said, "Who decided May would be a perfect month for Mother's Day? Let's celebrate Mom in between 8 projects due, 17 end of school events, and 136 games."

I laughed out loud at this one. It's one of those funny, not so funny, reels because it's so TRUE!

But seriously. May can be so busy and overwhelming. Slapping another holiday in it is sometimes the last thing we moms need.

I've also been reflecting on the different people in my life that Mother's Day was straight-up hard for this year. Like my single-mom co-worker who lost her mom this past year to cancer. And my son's best friend who lost his mom (AND dad) in a tragic accident last June.

Then there's the other thousands of moms for whom Mother's Day brings up so many hard thoughts and emotions. "I must not be a very good mom because my kids are struggling so much" or "My kids must not love me because they didn't give me anything or express any appreciation today."

Then comes the guilt, inadequacy, regret, overwhelm, sadness. On a day that's supposed to be a celebration.

Why do Mom's do this to themselves?! Why do so many women use Mother's Day to beat themselves up?

Men don't do this. Do you ever see men crying on Father's Day because they just don't feel like they're measuring up as a dad? Maybe they do, but I've never seen it.

As far as I know, this is an unfortunate woman thing.

Well, I want to give every woman out there permission to STOP this practice, both on Mother's Day and EVERY OTHER DAY of the year.

The job of being a mother is SO tough! The last thing we need is another day of negative emotions.

Instead, we need to give ourselves a steady stream of love, respect, and appreciation for everything we do everyday.

We need to STOP measuring our success as a mother based on how our kids are doing or whether they appreciate or even like us.

Instead, we MUST change our focus to things within our control.

Are you doing your best as a mom? Yes, I know you are! Do you make lots of mistakes? Yes, you probably do.

So, are you a great mom?

How will you know?

Did you know that you just get to decide to see yourself as a great mom?

A few years ago, in the midst of my daughter struggling in numerous ways, I was sometimes tempted to blame myself and feel like a failure as a mom.

One day, I just decided that I am a GREAT mom (who is human, sometimes has terrible days, and makes big mistakes).

My worth and "greatness" as a mom is not up for negotiation or other people's opinions.

It isn't contingent on whether my kids are doing well or poorly that day, week, or even year.

It doesn't even depend upon how appreciative my family members are.

Every day that I show up and do my best to love, teach, and care for my kids (in my very imperfect way), I am a great mom.

I decided Mother's Day is always going to be a wonderful day to reflect in gratitude for my own mother, my grandmothers, and all the other mothers who have influenced my life for good.

It will also be a day I can love and appreciate myself for years of selfless sacrifice, expanding love, and immense growth.

I invite you to join me in loving Mother's Day, and every other day that you get the privilege of being called "Mom".