Self Love is Non-Negotiable

If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, how many friends would you have?

I asked this question to a group of teenage girls last night and we had a thoughtful discussion.

Does the voice in your head sound like an "inner-bestie" or an "inner-bully"?

We talked through a scenario where their best friend called them on the phone and told them she did something really stupid or made a mistake she wasn't proud of.

What would they say to her?

• "Girl, it's totally fine."

• "I've been there. I probably would've done the same thing."

• "You're still a good person."

• "People will forget. I love you SO much. It's going to be okay."

But what do we say to ourselves when we make a mistake?

• "You are such an idiot!"

• "I can't believe you did that? What were you thinking?!"

• "You will never recover from this. This is unforgivable."

We can be SO mean to ourselves if we aren't aware that there's another way.

Did you know that beating yourself up will NEVER help you do better over time? "Whipping yourself into shape" sometimes works temporarily, but it always backfires long-term.

The definition of love as a noun is strong affection, connection, compassion, generosity, trust, and unconditional acceptance.

Love as a verb means showing respect and support, listening, offering patience and understanding, giving continuous effort and service, and offering forgiveness and grace.

How sad that we're often much better at giving these things to other people rather than ourselves.

Yet, self-love is the SECRET SAUCE to everything we (and our teens) want: more confidence, better relationships, goal achievement, and ultimately HAPPINESS.

So, my challenge for you is to write a list of 100 things you love about yourself. (No repeats!) Five things a day for three weeks.

They don't have to be a big deal. They can be big or small, silly or serious.

Put your brain to work looking for the good in you, all your lovable and unique traits, and it will find it.