When Shame Creeps In
There are a few universal fears that all humans confront from time to time:
There’s something wrong with me.
There’s something wrong with my life.
When we become entangled in these beliefs, we often experience shame—a powerful emotion that compels us to hide, avoid vulnerability, and disconnect from others.
While regret may sound like "I did something bad," shame whispers, "I am bad." It instills the fear that something is inherently wrong with us, making us unlovable.
We all grapple with some version of the fear of not being lovable, often seeking external validation to prove or disprove this belief.
This fear manifests in various ways. Some become people-pleasers, believing they must be who others want them to be to earn love. Others turn to perfectionism, thinking that if they're perfect, they won't face criticism. For some, shame runs so deep that they seek escape through substances or other addictions.
Shame drives people to hide. And unfortunately, hiding causes shame to grow, perpetuating the shame cycle.
As a life coach, I believe it's important to share this message:
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
I'm here to remind you that you are completely lovable, right now, just as you are.
I've coached many individuals who share their stories with me, convinced they are exceptions to this universal truth.
Yet, the reality is, NOTHING you have ever done has diminished your worth. And, interestingly, nothing you have ever done has increased it either. Your worth is inherent and non-negotiable.
And truthfully, there's nothing wrong with your life either. You are right on track. You are where you are supposed to be. You are doing great! There's truly no up-side to thinking about your life any other way.
So, the next time shame tries to creep in, I encourage you to entertain the idea that you are 100% lovable, regardless of the circumstances. And you're on the right path in your life, even if it's rocky.
Email me back and share how it goes. I'd love to hear how this perspective resonates with you.
